i figured it out..

i have no idea why my heart is beating crazily.

last weekend my church had this bunch of rbs (resident bible school) to stay over. they came on thursday and get themselves a place to stay in our church.basically they are here to join every single activities our church does la. but they have their stuff too. they went NS area to mingle and talk with the youths there. i didn't join them. so i don't know wad they did.

on saturday, we went tracting mp. first thing came to my mind was shopping.cannot be wad.then i come to know is something like passing flyers. at first i tot it was about christianity. but later i found out that they are passing out invitations for the saturday night gathering. at first i didn't plan to go tracting as socialising issin't something i like to do. den on friday nite marcus msged and said that un ivan thinks it would be better if there's youth accompanying those rbs students. so..i said yes. but i overslept the next day and went one hour later.or was it one and a 1/2 hours later.by the time i reached mp, they only have another 1/2 hour to go. so ..dang~ met some of the kids.i remember their names but i don't think i am able to spell it all out correctly.don't care la..

after meeting with them, i spent the entire afternoon in mp with hema. walked everywhere tryin to shop. so pissed coz can't find any nice baju.but the very last minute bought one blouse from A&L. left mp , drove home and got ready for ice cream night-night gathering. ju came back.thanks to gengyi who at first lied to me about not bringing her back. she got herself bruised in the toilet.aih..she's getting thinner each time i see her..wonder if that is wad she wanted.hehe..but i think if we are not used to living independantly,it would be hard la.

anyways, i promised myself that i would talked and social with every single group that is formed in church ground that night. AND I DID! i feel proud of myself for once. muhahaha..i was like talking to most of the friends shaun,jess,livia invited. and also they other kids la.walkin from group to group making sure that they get to know my name altho the time spent with them were totally short.trying to make the guest feel welcome.like what we were advised to always do.so...talk nonsense..crack jokes.but i realise didn't really touch anything about christianity.i did say " come for youth la" once...but i guess don't be too hard on those new comers la.later they freak out. so the night was i can say fun la.i did not keep to my own group altho ju is there. so mission accomplished.

the next day my social skills totally drainned.suddenly don't feel like talking unnecessarily. rbs students joined our worship that morning. than i felt sitting behind the piano with hwei was funnnn.that morning got no sermon lo.after worship went to have brunch.didn't speak to any of rbs students altho the night before almost kumcheng.just don't feel like it.after some hot dogs livia asked me to teach her a new song.so like all mgc new pianist, the first complete song to learn is "as we gather".good la...once again, the piano is my refuge.i can sense that the kitchen was happening.but i don't bother to go there la..

on sunday itself, when we usually had badminton, we had kapten bola instead. i said before that kapten bola is a universal church sports.so.most christian youths knows how the game works.aih. i was pretty lazy to join the game.moreover my rash is flaring.it's better not to sweat.that's one reason.then i heard that during the night there's pot bless.i decided not to go eventhough the thought of food laid out neatly kinda kill me.maybe i can't bear being surrounded by so many people too many times. ofcourse i wouldn't want to be asked if i'm okay when i'm not talking.so better not to go la.anyways, i went dinner with my parents.

so..come back to the title, i figured it out. i don't mind talking to people and being all friendly and stuff, but i get sick of it after talking to almost every person that attend an event. pardon my weird attitude. so i figured it out during the weekends that my social life got limit.hehehe...