i'm sick.

i'm currently pissed off at whatever that is happening to me. it's hard to be thankful and rejoice. i feel extremely weak nowadays. i don't wake up to a bright sunshine everyday. i don't dare to hope for a better tomorrow as i was always left disappointed.i hate the question how are u coz i can never answer i'm fine coz i am NEVER once fine in the past three years.THREE freakin years wasted!! how can i make my life meaningful ??u tell me!!!! i pray to God to give me strength every morning. sometimes i start my morning with pain n tears. it feels like HELL! i'm tired of not being able be happy 24/7. everyday is a challenge for me. i'm afraid i will backslide now as my faith is getting dimmer.i don't want to backslide!!!!...i'm just tired of being afraid n conscious all the time. "i wanna die" is the only three words that is frequently ringing in my mind.i'm mentally exhausted is all i can say.

i wish things will get better.tanks for the concern but i rather not talk about.don't bring this up if u don't wanna see me in tears. dat's how emo i am nowadays.so just shut it.

i feel better letting it out.