secrets

i can't really say i have alot of secrets. recalling from what i remembered most of ma secrets doesn't involve me.so basically it's just some gossips that i prevent from spreading futher la.well, some people keep secrects in order not to get into trouble.but u gotta admit,sometimes is better kept than to tell out.

i keep secrets because
1)i don't want to add more spice to sumthin u aren't actually sure of
2)i want to avoid insecurities
3)i don't want extra attention
4)iam not interested in sharing-i don't expect people to understand

do i have one?

well,no 1. is eassier said than done.how many of us can actually keep our mouth shut when there's a tinny winny news dat we got to know. i think gossips is just another way of having conversations.true right? u have nothing to talk about, u share sumthing dat everybody will want to hear. i didn't say i don't gossips.but if i am go judge maself, i think i can keep gossip stories to maself.unless it's like those super super hots ones..interesting giler ones...& also UNLESS it's concerning ME.so it doesn't really count as a gossip. right?

no 2. insecurities .hmmph.i don't usually speak about ma allergy too often.infact i HATE talkin about it. it's like being in a sitituation dat u can't wait to blah.to avoid being ask and LOOk at..i cover up. there's more. for example.disorders and RESULTS. i won't touch on disorders,but results..there's reason u know.i keep ma results to maself BECAUSe i don't want to be judge by people.i don't to be grouped. i don't want to be stereotype, i don't want people saying.."i thaught she's this and that.." so before u THINK i am whateva standard u think i am...i'm not dat smart.just telling...

u don't say out loud to people especially to ur parents BECAUSE...u don't need extra attentions. because in ma experience..parents can be a lil busy body..maybe it's just concern.but sumthings can be solved by ourselves.nonid the world to know..sometimes there's just no answers to our being. we just can't explain why this and dat happened. eg: i looked a lil down,and ma mom came to ask what is wrong.i said i'm just boring.but honestly,there's more than just boring...its....SHHHHH...

same goes when u aren't interested in sharing.i was in depression class last week.not really a class..it's just a lecturer from manipal came to our youth meeting to speak about depression. so he asked chenli to open up to him. and she said : why would i want to open up to u? sometimes there's no point sharing because the other party might not say exactly what u want to hear.sometimes wad u get is just nods.pointless sharing...no solution to the problem wan..dotss~

but on the other hand, according to that professor,if we tend to drift ourselves away and wanna be a lone and stuff..we are having symptoms of depression.liow.lately i prefer to be alone...shiet~ i'm depressed.....

don't judge