friends are friends forever?

somtimes i wonder how do people make friends.some say through same interest.some say we make friends cause we are interested in knowing a person.well that's cool.but what if after several tries and u notice u people don't click at all.u see each other and all u can say is..hie..even worse..just a wave of hand signing..* uh huh..i saw u* so wad's the point? recently did my moral presentation in clip form [too big..tried to upload in youtube kena ban]..and da topic is acknowledging one another...appreciating people around you..and make ppl significant in ur lives.and according to the video da we made..it all takes a simply "smile" | "hie"| "gesture"....now that i have deeper toughts...i think bonding is better den just gestures and stuff..

well.i mean..to actually start a new friendship and maintain them u need efforts-eg: askin how are u when it's a freezing cold mornin and da sub u hated most is on | sharing what exciting things happened to u and hoping to get response instead of just..."hmm"..just like having close relationships..it need sacrifice...especially sacrifice of time....some say money is involve too..like hanging out and showing appreciation tru gifts..blah..~

anyways..people can't live by themselves..i know i can't.but i used to think i can.but as time goes by..u tend to look into ur lives at different point of view. life is kinda meaningless without people around to share u joy | laughter| love...it's like having lot's of money but it doesn't make u happy.

seriously speakin i hate to make hi& bye friends. but i have lots of them..those dat i really care about is only a handfull.i really wanna make close relationship rather den aquaintances.

WHO SAID I DON'T MAKE EFFORT?
come back to the effort thingie..i tried my best to actually socialize wit da genuine me..but sometimes it's just hard fer people to accept ma lameness and craziness...aka...amatureness..i admit dat i'm pretty lazy in goin out yumchar-ing and lunch-ing with people..but sometimes its da effort dat made the other partee feel dat they are important...just like skwel friends..some did make effort..and some just ignore da effort dat we made...so sad..~

.i really missed having chenli in malacca..altho we just hang out around makan places..now me n ju felt goin out in twos feel weird...hema's busy with her 1k per month work...haih~ but seriously if hanging out with friends and making commitment to make da friendship last is about having all da laughs in the world when we lepaked...then..i think i accomplished dat kind of friendship..but if friends are there to share hard times...a shoulder to cry on..comforting words..i think i failed to do so...i don't think i'm dat sensitive...and i'm so not good with words...and i if i recall...ma emo-ness wit my friends are like 1 hour total in a year's time....tat's bad~..i'm a bad friend..don't talk to me...

who do i go to if a huge problem hit me...?
okay okay..i'll pray...WHILE waiting to be answered..who do i really go to...?
but after prayin shud have a peace of mind rite...
okay okay..LET us SAY i don't have da calmness...who do i really really go to...?

THE WORSt WAY I ever TRIED TO MAKE FRIENDS
is to be friends with a whole group..as we all know..friends come in lumps..as in...golongan.not da BEP humps and lumps..*censored.* lets say we know ONE or TWo friends in a huge kumcheng giler group..and u tried to blend in...after several trials and effort...being thick skin..and u know.~..being friendly and stuff but still feeling awkward when bumped into each other in hall ways..blah blah~...it's like...makin urself feel like ur a minority there..and u can't wait to get ur ass off the seat ur sitting in...da feelin just make u wanna puke...

so now..whenever i think i want to be friends/make friends/socialize..i make sure it's in ma comfort zone..

GOIN TO A GATHERING WITH......MAYBE ALONE...
that's crazy..altho sometimes we can't escape..sigh..this remind me dat i have a gathering to attend...sigh~ me..and a whole bunch of close knitted friends since like ferever...i'm so worried...is this sociophobia? i think so....it's like...ur ear can catch da beat of da clock tickin coz u just wait fer da time to pass.....

back to my title...
friends are friends forever? hmmph..its true if u mean nomatter we talk or not..keep in touch or not we're still friends..if its the "i remember being in the same class as u..blah blah..worked wit you.." case...but..most of da friends i know back in my high school years are now in silent actions..no idea wad dey have become n stuff...so...this statement...is touching..yes...but..at my point of view...it apply to close knitted friends only..

i've no idea what is this post fer...just practicing ma typing....

I'M JUST WEIRD
-lots of craps-
btw..i won hitz.fm tag da hits todae..syabas~ 100 bucks richer...